| 90% of the time, the child knows her/his abuser. |
Despite the image of a stranger in a trench coat lurking around playgrounds, the sex offender is most likely someone the child knows and trusts. Abusers are fathers, mothers, stepparents, grandparents, uncles, cousins, neighbors, babysitters, coaches and spiritual leaders. Abusers may be heterosexual or homosexual (statistics show that most are heterosexual). They may be married or single. The majority of abusers are not mentally ill.
Some abusers are physically attracted to children, some were victims of abuse as children themselves, and some abuse children so they can feel power and control that they do not feel in relationships with adults. No matter what the reason for the abuse, it is a crime.
Abusers often give the child special attention by playing a game, giving hugs or taking part in other innocent activities. As they continue to “groom” the child, the activities progressively become more sexual. The child may realize that these things should not happen, but she/he may feel powerless to stop it.
Most children never tell anyone that someone is hurting them. Abusers typically manipulate the child and demand that the activities remain secret, making threats so that the child doesn’t tell. Children often fear that they will not be believed or that the abuse is their fault. |
