- based on choice
- actively given
- possible only when there is equal power
- asked for
- given when both people are sober
- two people deciding to do the same thing, in the same way, at the same time with each other
Consent is not…
- being drunk
- letting a person into your room or home
- the absence of resistance, defense, screaming, or fighting back
- automatic within an intimate relationship
- going along with someone to avoid being hurt
- given just because you’ve already gone this far
- giving in because of fear, shame, or guilt
- given because you “owe” them
- going along with someone to gain approval
- the absence of any witnesses
- persuading the person to use a condom
Think about what you want:
- Before you get into a sexual situation communicate clearly. If you’re not sure what your date wants, ask.
- Be open and honest. Tell your date “yes” and clearly give consent to sexual activity you want to engage in.
- Be assertive. Your feelings are valid and you have the right to express them. Think about what you really want and say it.
- If your date doesn’t tell you what sexual behavior they want to engage in, stop and ask. Don’t continue until you hear a clear and confident “yes”.
- Respect “yes” and “no”. Stop if you hear “no” and have fun if you hear “yes”. As sexual intimacy increases, continue communicating with your date.
What are your sexual limits?
See what you've learned about consent by taking our Sexual Limits Quiz.